So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
