Betty ford says i'm here all night
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
