ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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