So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have demons in me.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
