He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
