as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
