I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
