Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
