i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You can't special order awesome
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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