I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
