I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
