dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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