so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
