I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
