You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I deserve this hangover.
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