I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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