They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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