Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
