weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
