my soul wont recognize me after tonight
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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