I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
