I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
