you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
