We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
