Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
