She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
