to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
