Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
