Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
