6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
