Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
