sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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