you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
