we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
