That's when you crack a 10am beer
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so let's talk penis.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
