Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
