the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
