Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
