Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
