Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
