oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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