No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
