I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
