he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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