Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
