There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
