I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I could fuck to npr.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
