how can u be prego again
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
