Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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