I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You ruined the universe
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
